The Fabulous One =DD

Awakened, finally.

Friday, July 31 18:06

There's a question that I've been asking people and myself repeatedly. The answers I get are all the same : negative. I used to argue it off cuz I kept thinking that I was the one who was wrong and I wanted some support so that I have the courage to make things right. As Cheese often says : "Many reasons, many excuses, many etc etc." I have to admit that that's very true. But it's time to wake up, I suppose? Cuz there's nothing left for me to hold on to. It's not that I can turn back time, can I?

Yet, fate is a very funny thing. Why does my circle of friends seem to revolve around...her?

***

Met up with my dearesst Froggies. They're all so far, yet so near. Especially Lin who lives just two streets away but I see her like, for the second or third time only this year? Hmm. Actually I had a lot of things bottled up in me that I wanted to share with them, but advices kept coming in before I got to say anything. So I might as well just keep quiet and listen to them, otherwise they'd slap me 99 for being so stubborn hahahaha. Just kiddin. Seriously, it is some consolation to me to know that I still have a bunch of ji muis to back me up. Thank you girls, really. =)

I like the last pic the best! Its soo yenggg, right?!?! Hehehee. Now the one sitting in front will come after me. =X

Labels: Friendss, Pichass, You

后悔

Monday, July 27 19:43

后悔
为什么我从来都不相信你

后悔
为什么我没有珍惜你

后悔
为什么我那么自私

后悔
为什么我没有考虑到你的感受

后悔
为什么我一直避开你

后悔
为什么我们没有把话说清楚

后悔
为什么我要让你走

后悔。。
为什么我现在才发现这些?

现在再说什么都已经来不及了。。幸福的她，希望她会好好地珍惜你。。

Labels: Chinese, Emoss, You

Friday, July 24 23:17

TIRED!

Worked from 1545 till 1845. [Uhm, we were late. Hehs =p Cuz Mr Nick dunno buat apa, he came late to fetch me, not I purposely wanna be late wan T.T] James taught me how to make [instant] mashed potatoes! Hehehe thanks Jamesy! So happy whee =D

After finishing my shift, gotta OT zomg =.=" Was "grabbed" over by my mum. But I sneaked away with Cheese and her friends and Tristan for a walk before continue working. One of Cheese's friend lives at the street behind my house only lols. Probably I've seen him before at the playground or something haha. Well nevermind. Then then Lin texted me. Yet it was another failed attempt to meet up cuz I was going back already. =X I'm sucha terrible friend I know and I'm so sorry T.T

Back at home when I came online just now, I accidentally saw a very disgusting thing that my hair just stood up -_______-" So I went :

Then Ah Lu responded :

Hahahaha I laugh until cannot talk! Click to enlarge, if you wanna laugh along ;)

Before we left just now, Devan asked : "Can you be here at 5 tomorrow?" I mean later. No, I mean soon. At 0500. Friggin five in the morning
-___________-" I'm gonna just wait for his call and bargain with him later.

Bah! Imma continue shopping now. Just found a new webbie thru Cheese =) The things are really nice and variable, but the only trick is that it's in Chinese. I lazy wanna open my translator so I just sent the information to Cheese, my personal translator haha. Smart not? =p

Labels: Friendss, Novena09, Pichass, Random

Thursday, July 23 22:34

Instead of Cheese, Darling came to fetch me for the first time today! So excited heehee.

This morning in class, they talked about the H1N1 disease spreading like wildfire. So just now when I encountered a mother of two; a boy with a mask over his face and a girl with huge patches of rashes [or whatever the redness is caused by] all over her arms, I kinda freaked out =.=" My immediate reaction was to back off from them, even though I know, well, they couldn't be so lucky. Neither am I. Plus the signs aren't really H1N1's symptoms la, I just had that big reaction cuz its an involuntary action. Which means, its controlled by my medulla oblongata; which means, it cannot be controlled by my conscious mind! Hahahaha I kinda miss Bio suddenly o______o"

But take a look below and you'll know why did I act so rudely.

MY THIGH!! I myself am gelified with it. Look at those goosebumps =.="

MY HAND!! Terkiap-ed it last night on my gate cuz too dark -_______-"

I'm surprised that my knees are fine o______o" Cuz usually they're the hottest spots to be injured and often decorated with bruises without me knowing how did they come from =.="

PS : Well people, I'm fine. =)

Labels: Pichass, Random

Kiss me goodbye

13:39

虽然我看起来已经没事了，可是原来我还在意的。我很在意你们现在到底发展到什么地步了。我知道你们已经开始了。我很在意你对她说的每一句话。我也很在意她写关于你的事情。。她让我感觉到你真的已经把我忘掉了。。

看到她刚刚写的 post，我真的。。心碎了。可是，为什么你对她说的是爱，她对你说的只是喜欢而已? 还有，我真的很不明白为什么你那么害怕要让她知道我的存在呢?

Are you afraid that she'll feel threatened? Because I'm too solid? But the most important thing is...

为什么你要骗我?!?!

I wanted to write more, but the above text already taken me about one hour to translate them all ~.~ No energy ad, so I might as well complete it in five minutes in English =.="

So. Since its already a dead end, why don't we terminate it gracefully?

Thanks for walking into my life.

Thanks for telling me facts about myself that I never knew.

Thanks for the laughter and the tears you caused me.

Thanks for the joy and the pain you brought to me.

Thanks for building me up and tearing me down.

Thanks for making me realise that I'm a coward.
Thanks for turning me into a loser.

Thanks for your abrupt exit out of this battlefield.

Thanks for putting an end to the fight we both can't win.
Thanks for the memories.
Thanks for your care.

Thanks for your time.

And finally,

Thanks for your once-infatuation.

It's just a summer love.

Now that summer's over for you;

Will it be over for me as well?

PS : 请叫她不要学我好吗 =.="

Labels: Chinese, Emoss, Myself, You

Refresh.

Tuesday, July 21 23:02

The previous entry has been removed. I dont see the need to pollute my blog over such matter. =D

Frankly speaking, I was really, really down this morning. Cannot concentrate in class, can barely speak a word. Sorry Jo & Moo, I didn't mean to be so cold to you girls. I..just..cannot..control..my..emotions.. Nobody knows how I feel deep inside. Sorry T.T And thousands of apologies to Sean.. He knew I was having a tough night last night and kept texting me to ask about my condition, but I replied none of his texts >.<"
Today came back home, took a long long nap. And finally I calmed down a lil. Went to church in the evening. Actually I'm off duty tonight, my main intention is to seek for some serenity. So before started working, I went up to the Parish to pray. Not the *official annual prayer* [I dunno what I mean also la haha] Just a prayer to rebuild me from the inside, to make me whole again. Cuz I was feeling so helpless and broken up that I dunno what else can be done. I'm such a terrible thing, I know. Taking the church for granted and only go to it as my last resort. However, felt a lot better after that, its like I've unloaded a heavy burden off my shoulders. =) But I know the ugly feeling will be back again in no time, thanks to *you*.

Yesterday my duty was during the day. Reached home at 7+, greeted by my girl Dionne. I suddenly remembered that I made her a promise to take her to the playground some time ago. So the guilty me decided to fulfil my promise despite I my head was aching. Cuz I'm unlike some people who never keep their words. Bleurgh. Anyways, I noticed a hidden, inherited talent in her!

Ze camwhoring skill!

She's merely five but looook at herrrrr! Already know how to camwhore with poses o______o" And thats not all. She even asked me to pose for her while she snapped off!

Art Director Dionne : Put your hand like this, look at me! Ok don't move!
Play die me this sweet child of mine. -________-"

My lovergirl. =)

I kinda wonder..well, just out of curiosity, 当你跟她在一起的时候，你会不会想起我?

Labels: Chinese, Family, Friendss, Pichass, You

time-wasting post

Saturday, July 18 23:11

Slacking at AC now cuz waiting for movie time. 12.15am - Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince!

Such a bad timing, its only 11.11pm now. Wanted to go AmpSquare, but only 1 hour plus left, how to go? >.<" Speaking of AmpSquare..the other day when I was shopping with my mum, I saw a very familiar guy walking pass by in front of me. See see think think..then I looked at his attire only it hit me in the head : Oh, the AmpSquare fella. Lols.

I've been avoiding to go to public places for the whole night cuz I dont wanna risk bumping into people. But no choice, who ask me have so much spare time =.=" And luckily I received a call in time, just before I got down from the car. So I don't have to be aware for the entire night cuz I knew I'm not gonna bump into those people. Instead, I saw Andrew!! So happy sia. But he's not working in MFM anymore. Says he : "I got imported ad ma.." Me : "From nextdoor?" Then I just laughed omg. So didn't give face hor? >.<" Paiseh la hehe.

Sighs. I cannot believe what I heard from this friend of mine. I dont wanna disclose the identity otherwise the subject will be exposed as well. BUT ITS SO UNBELIEVABLE LOR. Zz nevermind.

Anyway if you're wondering why the heck am I catching a midnight movie when I'm supposed to be in church now right..Its because my mum came back, and went : "Hmm. Vien ar. Tonight hor, you don't need to go la. Tomorrow only go." Sweat la, I was so enthusiastic to go already lo then she tell me no neeed to gooooooo T.T Oh and, I missed Bon Odori this year. Planned to go with Moo & Jo, samore Chook say until the bro wanna rent bus etc and we're gonna have a one-day shopping tour around Penang z -_________-" In the end apa pun tarak hahaha.

PS : To Dd Dar, no matter how rough is the road, we have to be strong and prove them wrong alright! =D

Okays, leaving in 15 minutes. I heard that my bro will be watching the same movie in the same cinema =.=" But his session is half an hour earlier, which means different hall. Actually its nothing la, I just wanna waste more time here -__________-"

Goodbye people, hello Harry! x)

Labels: Family, Friendss, Random

Random.

17:12

过几天就是~~~了
你应该今晚就会跟她一起~~了吧?
no eye see~

*****

Now allow me to be random.

St Anne's Novena & Feast has offocially started! Imma be busy soon..Omg la I'm having a lil stomach cramp. Omg omg I cannot bear to layan my Aunt Prob at this time la T__________T Please come again after the feast, okay? *Bangs head against the wall*

Yesterday while I was napping halfway, my stomach suddenly ached like I was never gonna survive the next minute. I screamed and cried until my dad also shocked and dashed forward and started massaging my foot. "Why why? Leg cramp ar?" -_________-" Speechless. But now think back also quite funny haha. Cannot blame him also, cuz last time I kept having leg cramps in the middle of the night and he'll come help me massage my leg. My dad, my hero =) <33

My contact lens..has gotta be the best one in the world. Just changed a new pair, but different brand cuz my usual brand was out of stock [according to my dad, ~~maybe he wanna cut cost that's why bluff me~~ =.="] T.T I've got double vision after putting them on o______o" A few days back [when I was still wearing the old pair], I felt so dizzy also after wearing them. Walk also cannot walk straight. Later in the class [almost a couple of hours already =.=], I looked at the mirror and checked my eyes and...

NO SIGHT OF LENS IN MY RIGHT EYE!

Sweat la thats the stupidest thing that has ever happened to me since I started wearing lens. -___________-"

Hmm. What else to be random about hor? Oh yea, I've got an ulcer in my mouth. And then sore throat. And then sore eyes. [Not the kind of red until need to wear shades one la.] And then headache followed by migrain. Which reminds me of Desmond, my evil twin bro hahaha! And and and. I almost tripped when going up/down the staircase for four mornings in a row -________-"

Okayys. Cheese just texted me. Someone is looking for me! So surprised, didn't know he still remembers me ~~cuz I've forgotten him~~. Sobs. Later go kacau him hoho. Toodles! ;)

PS : Be creative a bit, don't use the same idea again alright? 她和我不一样哦。。All the best to you.

Labels: Chinese, Family, Friendss, Random

Restart (Part II)

Thursday, July 16 19:42

When there's a cause, there'll surely be an effect. The cause of my high-ness today isssss...

My Chinese has improveddddddddd! *Whee clap clap!

And the effect isssss...

Imma try my skill here todayyyy! x)

*****

...

*****

First word already dunno how to type -______-" Hello tutors where art thou people? =(

*****

这几天想了很多
从来都没有想过我们这么快就会变成这样
你对我说过的话有没有一句是真的?
为什么你要让我相信你是 A type 的
可是你本来就是 Z type 的麻 =.="
如果你只是觉得无聊，想找个人来陪你玩
你找错人了
我玩不起，也输不起
他们都叫我放弃了，可是我不想你，说变就变

其实是我做错了吗?
如果那晚我不是这样对你的话
可能你就不会去那个地方，也不会认识她
如果我没有突然间对你那么冷淡的话
可能你也不会。。她。。

为什么你说你怕会伤害我
难道你不怕会伤到她吗?
这是骗我的吗?
还是你觉得她比我好
比较美，又比较主动
不会让你一直等她?

还是根本就是我自己想太多。。?
你根本一点都不在意我。

我知道你会来看我的 blog, that's why its in Chinese. 因为你不会看。其实我要学 Chinese 也是因为你。我不想让你知道我在想什么。=)

*****

Hehehehe. Pro not!! I also kinda proud of myself hahahaha. All thanks to my tutors - Cheese, Jojo, Moo, webbie [translator], song lyrics, dramas o.o But sure got a lot of mistakes la I know and I cannot write one perfect sentence yet
=( Anyone who knows Chinese, please correct the above text for me alright? Must learn from mistake ma... =) Anyway I took the longest time ever to complete this post -_______-"

Labels: Chinese, Emoss, Myself, You

Restart (Part I)

16:19

~~CD2.~~

Over!

Been overdosed with caffeine for the past few nights. Haven't slept for four nights straight o___O New record heheh. So yesterday! I was finally decaffeined and started feeling dizzy after the last paper F3. Came home, do this do that a while... Then around 4+ I went up to my room and started to hibernateeeee! Actually I've been planning this hibernation since day 1, and dying to do it heheh. So it went on for 13+ hours, and today I woke up feeling extremely satisfied! =D

Brought my cubes with me today, cuz the timetable reads: "Its another boring day." Moo and Jo got attracted hoho~ Although I'm still lousy [I myself also just done memorizing the formula nia haha], but they asked me to teach, how can I say no to my darlings wor?! So I have to be thick-faced a bit and became their sifu! Now everyone is coming after me zzz.

Oh yea, last Sunday finally got to see my Ah Fung againnnnnnnnnn! Si beh high sia. Time passes by so quickly..The last time I met him was last October. Nine months already waaa. Somemore I went out late! Thanks to darling Cheese for helping me buy those stuffs and became my photographer =D and thanks to Nicholas for reserving a place for meee. Kamdong T.T Saw Moo there also hahaha. Her expression! Instead of happily greeting me, she was quite shocked to see me there that her eyeballs almost popped out like a squirrel
-__________-!! Soooo huuuurtttt! =( Then I Starbucks'd alone and wandered around aimlessly till almost 10. Came back home, then around 11 went out with Cheese and Nick again. Mocha'd. Came back, instant coffee'd. You say la how could I not be overdosed =.="

And and and! This is my 200th post! x) [Including the past entries that I've hid la.]

Happy 200th to scrtdzire!

I now have two hundred desires (and still counting)? =X

Now dont you think I'm very high today? Cuz..read the title if you can haha. But I know you cant cuz this layout made it unavailable =.=" so lemme share my joy with you in the next post cuz this is getting..

too...

long.....

Labels: Entertainment, Friendss, Random, Studies

Sorry.

Sunday, July 12 14:20

This entry is specially dedicated to Mr Eddy.

I know you think I've been fooling you. You're such a kind guy, I know, and I thank you for that. Thank you for caring. I really didn't mean to do that, but... Sighs. It was unexpected cuz we always joked around with this topic. Anyway, no point of explaining, I just wanna aplogize to you sincerely here for making you disappointed.

S.O.R.R.Y.!

I've promised that I'll make it up to you, and I'll keep my promise. But I'm sure you're gonna think that I'll not keep my words. Sighsss.

*****

Seems like whatever I do is always wrong. Not only to Eddy, but to everyone else as well. Let me just get away from all these for a while. I'm just so sick and tired of everything. What's the point of staying up till sunrise to think of the impossibilities?

I wanna shut my eyes forever.

Labels: Emoss, Friendss, You

I Miss You.

13:48

I cant sleep, I just cant breathe
When your shadow is all over me, baby
Dont wanna be a fool in your eyes
Cuz what we had was built on lies

And when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me, hear what I say

I dont wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I dont wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you

What would it take for you to see?
To make you understand that I'll always believe
You and I can make it through
And I still know I cant get over you

Cuz when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me, hear what I say

I dont wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I dont wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
Oh baby I miss you, I do

Cuz when our love always fades away
Listen to me, hear what I say

I dont wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I dont wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna it straight from my heart
I miss you, I miss you, I do

I dont wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I dont wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
Oh baby I miss you, I do...

Westlife - Miss You

Labels: Emoss, Lyrics, You

Half of the world is fast asleep. What am I doing here?

03:57

It's 4+ in the morning now.

It's raining outside, and it's raining inside of me.

CD Test 2 commences on Monday. I don't wanna see how the hell am I gonna score when I'm stuck in such condition.

Oh god, this sucks. To the max.

Btw, I wanna say a million thanks to those who cared..Thanks Jo, Dd dar, Ath, Joe, Keymon and especially Captain who is back in BM and even offered to take me out..but at the very last minute before he came out he got stopped by his mum cuz it was almost 11 -________-" ~~So old already still got grounded.~~ Thanks HY too, we were just chatting a minute ago.

Now Eddy is calling me out to eat. That crazy guy, each time see me awake at this time sure call me out. I always agreed, but never once I did turn up. =X

Sighs. Its still raining. I'm still aching.

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love

Look into those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cuz

He's the reason for the teardrops on my pillow...

Welcome back Ah Fung to Malaysia..Looking forward to meet him tomorrow night. =) Really hope by then I can enjoy myself and take my mind off everything.

Labels: Emoss, Friendss, Studies, You

A gazillion whys.

Saturday, July 11 16:22

Why do people change from time to time?

Why do people come and go in just a glimpse of an eye?

Why do people lie?

Why do people feel hurt?

Why do people have emotions?

Why do people care for those who do not care for them?

Why do people not care of those who really care for them?

Why do people choose to runaway instead of trying to work things out when trouble arises?

Why do people lose faith easily?

Why are people so ignorant?

Why are people so protective?

Why are people so vulnerable?

Are you aware of what you make me feel? Do you really think my heart is made of steel?

Labels: Emoss, You

Crappo.

Friday, July 10 23:36

My mum took me out for lunch yesterday at a newly opened cafe nearby, so die die also I have to talk to her again. Saw Uncle Khaw there. After eating we came home straight. My godbro suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of my house =.=" I so lazy to layan him cuz I really dislike him. Regret for being a minute too late to step inside my house, otherwise I don't have to waste my energy talking to him. So I went upstairs straight and left him alone in the living room to layan himself. When I came back down after doing my stuff, I just plopped on my chair and hid my face behind my laptop cuz I lazy wanna talk with him -_________-" I guess my mum also dislike him, she went: "I'm quite busy la, gonna go out already. You sit la." But he didn't quite understand cuz he stayed on. Then my mum had to say again: "I'm gonna be late for my class already, if you've got time then go visit Grandma la." Oh btw, my mum is learning Thai language =.=" Then only he left.

Later in the afternoon, I watched drama until I dozed off in the living room. Then my bro's friend came and I was sleeping like a pig but he didn't wake me up! =.=" Luckily I didn't embarrass myself. But still!! -__________-"

This morning. I was close to heart attack because of Santa who attacked me from behind. Lucky again my brain is quick enough for me to twist and turn the story another way round. -________-" Another regret is to rush my assignment last night. That weird woman, I cannot understand why she keeps being so nice to me ._____. And today, we only studied for 1.5 hours. Actually this situation has been going on for a month or so. Sometimes we didn't even study at all.

Lalala pointless life.

Labels: Family, Random, Rantingss, Studies

darn

01:00

Rushing assignment, due 6+ hours later. It should've been completed earlier, but I have to redo Moo's part cuz it's super dizzifying. I quickly started printing after finished typing cuz I'm gonna collapse anytime soon. God knows, halfway printing the printer RAN OUT OF INK! Sumore I didn't notice and kept printing =.=" end result : one third of rubbish printed. Now I gotta reprint them zzz.

Omg daammmnnnit la Isofriggintension.

Labels: Rantingss, Studies

Quickie

Wednesday, July 8 23:56

EPPIE BURFDAYYY LUCIA DARRR!

The girl who can chat with me from A-Z and Z-A. She's a very hyper and happy-go-lucky girl. This is why I love her loadssss!

Dearrr Cia, its ur biggie day! Wash away all the unhappiness!

PS : I missed lots of birthday updates for the past month (besides Shane's & Matt's). Sorry T.T

Labels: Birthdayss, Friendss

No, I'm not fine thank you.

16:33

It's not the blog that died; it's the blogger herself.

But after a light weekend, I'm here again. =)

Shane and Matthew's birthday fell on the same day - 5th July! No, they're not twins. In fact, they're two very different people from two different corners of the planet. Shane, of course, is Mr Filan of Westlife. =) Aww, I miss the time when my girls and I were all head over heels for them back then! Songs, albums, videos, lyrics, posters, DVDs, calendars, magazines, postcards...we just have a perfect collection of everything. We even gone as far as establishing GCW with, *ahem* me, as the President haha. Main objective was to write as many fanfics as possible. Lols, can't believe we had such wild imagination at such young age (years ago).

As for Matthew, his mum organized a BBQ party for him on Saturday night. At first I didn't want to go but my cousin Felicia kept calling, so no choice gotta go lo.

Ice-cream cake from Haagen Dazs.

I noticed a hunkie there! From the moment he walked in, I already developed a liking towards him. And he's not afraid to talk to a stranger like me! I mean, if I were him, I'd freak out to be approached like that and might go hiding behind someone's back.
-_________-"

Me : What's your name, boy?
Him : Ma Jun Wei!

Cute or not this little hunkie you tell me?!?! He's only eight!! And already so friendly.

My once must-have drink back then when I was a kiddo. But original one. Can't recall when I ditched it.. Anyway, this is +apple. Tasted quite nice, but original is still the best. =)

Anyways,

Happy birthdayyy to Shaneyy and Matthew!

Labels: Birthdayss, Entertainment, Family, Pichass

The unwanted.

Tuesday, July 7 20:23

Had a war with mum last night over an email. Sounds funny? It's such a heartache each time we war-ed cuz she tends to say hurtful things to me. Don't understand why is she so different from all the mums in the world. Why do I have such an eccentric mother? A mother who cares for anyone else but her own family. Anyone else in the family but her only daughter. I admit I'm a useless daughter, but she's the first person to ever know me even before I came to know the world. Yet she still couldn't accept the me that she knew all along.

For the past 24 hours, she has only spoken to me twice : "Go sleep earlier, if not tomorrow cannot wake up again." and "Wanna eat or not?" and I shook my head once : "Don't want."

Sighs. Many of my friends like her. They say : "Vivien's mother very funny wan, very open minded wan!" Yeah, that is to YOU people. Most of the time I really envy my girlfriends who have really good relationship with their mum. Why can't I have one too? She's such a heartbreaking mother. So next time if you wanna make me cry, you know who to seek for. She knows those powerful words which work magically like a spell to rip me apart.

Labels: Emoss, Family